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Bird of Paradise

When it is warm,
They do not gather,
In my village,
To watch the sunsets.

The sound of argument,
To argument escorts,
Every walk…

Oh, to be a bird,
Yet fly, as the crow,
Hearing a language,
I am proud, not to know.

Still not caring, even as I,
Land, they would stay far,
Below…

Oh, to be a bird,
Yet fly, as the crow…

Hearing a language,
I am proud, not to know…

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To some it may not seem much of a revision, yet the change of a single word…
But that’s the maddening thing at times…

‘Oh, to be a bird,
And fly, as the crow,’

Becomes:

‘Oh, to be a bird,
Yet fly, as the crow,’

On the surface, to the common man, an obvious contradiction, but the poem is all about an elite wanting to be not a bird of paradise, but a common crow…
So the question is ‘which bird?’

And as usual the spectre of Poe is here as it is in a lot of my work. I know it’s, ‘raven’ but a crow is the same family… Even more ‘common.’
The reason I mention Poe is because his populism infuriated the poetry elite, so it fits for me.

The sounds and meanings of:
argument, every, yet
Is also strengthened I feel.
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And here below, using the word ‘flying’ a greater sense of motion (to and away from the end of the line) and flow is gained, whilst still retaining much of the above argument. Also additionally working with the groupings of two and three syllables which rhythm throughout…
The present tense of the act of flow is also enhanced by this. As it was mentioned in ‘The History Boys’ Gerunds! gerunds! gerunds!
A great film by the way if you haven’t seen it… (Sorry, minor tangent there).

_______________________________________

Bird of Paradise

When it is warm,
They do not gather,
In my village,
To watch the sunsets.

The sound of argument,
To argument escorts,
Every walk…

Oh, to be a bird,
Flying, as the crow,
Hearing a language,
I am proud, not to know.

Still not caring, even as I,
Land, they would stay far,
Below…

Oh, to be a bird,
Flying, as the crow…

Hearing a language,
I am proud, not to know…

______________________________________

I hope you found the above shenanigans of value. I never know how far to go, or for that matter if I should go at all in explaining a poem, but I guess if it was good enough for TS Eliot in his Wasteland, I guess it’s good enough for me and my attempts !

Darren.